Going through a difficult breakup is one of the most unpleasant experiences in anyone’s life. It’s a big change to try and train yourself out of loving the person you’ve been so close to. That’s why it’s important to take all the right steps to make sure you don’t wallow in sorrow and self-pity forever. You can (and probably should) push yourself toward recovery as soon as possible.
Whether or not you instigated the breakup doesn’t really matter. Pain and regret will always find their way into your heart after a difficult breakup and sometimes just reminding yourself to think positively doesn’t quite cut it. Even though at the moment it feels like the pain will never go away, it’s up to you to put your brain in recovery mode and convince yourself that this, too, shall pass. Here are some helpful tips on habits you can teach yourself to help you get over that difficult breakup.
HERE ARE 8 POSITIVE TIPS TO HELP YOU GET PAST A DIFFICULT BREAKUP
“After a breakup, it takes a couple weeks for the fog to settle, but it’s always a period of self-priority and growth. Life presents you with so many decisions. A lot of times, they’re right in front of your face and they’re really difficult, but we must make them.” – Brittany Murphy
1. UNFOLLOW THEM ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
The more contact you have with your ex, the more difficult it will be for you to let them go. When you follow their life, it fills you with a feeling of regret that you’re not part of it anymore – and it makes you susceptible to false hopes and dreams of getting back together. Cutting off is hard, but once you do it, you’ll feel so much better. It’ll give you the time and space you need to focus on yourself and heal rather than dwelling in the past and getting lost in ideas of what could have been.
2. REMIND YOURSELF WHY THE BREAKUP HAPPENED.
The most important mindset to put yourself into after a difficult breakup is that you’re better off this way. Remind yourself what was it that caused the breakdown of your relationship. Take a moment to think about how unhappy you would have been if things had kept going the way they did. Let yourself enjoy things you couldn’t enjoy before. Allow yourself to be happy with you because of you – not because of somebody else’s validation, or lack thereof.
3. TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
One of the most common feelings after a difficult breakup is second-guessing – wondering whether you took a bad step and whether there’s anything you can do to fix whatever broke in your relationship. The best remedy for that is to talk about your feelings to trusted friends or family members. Explain to them, in detail, why your relationship no longer works, and the set of circumstances that led you to where you are. Even if your friends have no advice to offer, it will help you to voice all your feelings and remind you that what you did was right.
4. ALLOW YOURSELF TO CRY.
Another problem that people often have after a difficult breakup is that they try to internalize their emotions. Unfortunately, sometimes those bottled emotions they come out in public, or in places where they can’t be controlled. If you need to cry and wallow in misery for a few days, let yourself do it. It’s better to let it all out now than bottle it up and wait for the pressure to blow the cap off. Being in touch with your emotions will help you channel all your pain and grief in one place so that it doesn’t affect the other areas of your life.
5. WRITE IT DOWN.
Journaling can be a surprisingly helpful method of therapy. Whether you want to write it in a blog or an actual physical journal, reflection is a very helpful tool. It’ll allow you to go back and read what you wrote the day before, and the day before that. You will see how your emotions evolve and come to realize that healing is slowly happening. If nothing else, it’ll give you hope that things will keep getting better – and provide you with tangible proof of this in the form of your own written words.
6. TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY.
Even if you don’t feel like you can ever be happy again, remind yourself that happiness is your long-term goal. Smile, even when you don’t feel like it. Pretend to be happy until one day you won’t have to pretend anymore. It doesn’t matter whether you feel miserable. Convince your mind to do some positive thinking by incorporating happiness into your physical reactions and, sooner or later, your brain will follow suit. It’s all about convincing yourself that happiness is what you want and what you believe you will get.
7. ADOPT HEALTHY HABITS.
When depression after a difficult breakup hits you, it’s easy to eat unhealthy food or spend whole nights not sleeping a wink. As tempting as it is to fall into those bad habits, try to establish a routine in your everyday life that’ll bring back the structure and support you’re craving. A great start is to go to bed at a reasonable time every night. It creates the impression that you have your life together and also helps you feel well-rested and ready for the next day.
8. TELL YOURSELF YOU DESERVE BETTER.
It’s difficult, especially if you were convinced that your ex was your soul mate. However, always remind yourself that life goes on and that you’ll meet someone better – even if it feels impossible now. You’ll find someone who’ll cherish and love you the way you deserve to be loved. Once you get into that positive mindset, you’ll more easily find the strength and courage to pick yourself up off the ground and keep moving.
When a long relationship suddenly ends, you might feel like the solid ground beneath your feet has been taken away. Don’t allow yourself to spend too long in self-deprecating thoughts. Instead, look towards the future and everything that awaits you. Understand that there’s life outside your previous relationship. And the more effort you make to discover and embrace that life, the easier you’ll find it to get over your breakup.